A thought or two on group think.
I remember a time at school (yr5) when I said penguins had feathers, which of course they do. They are birds. The whole class AND the teacher thought they had fur and collectively tried to bully me to agree with them, but I knew I was right so I didn't budge. A great lesson was learnt that day and I never accepted the group mentality over my own mind. What I learned from that point on in life is that so many people allow society to define who they're meant to be. We're not 'meant' to be anything, so that allowed me the freedom to be whoever I wanted to be, which also came with people trying their hardest to bully me into 'being normal', but I saw what 'normal' meant. It meant towing the line, obeying the unwritten rules of society.
For years I struggled to understand why I didn't fit in, I didn't follow the crowd, but that didn't mean I should be subjected to ridicule. I grew my hair long, wore baggy torn jeans covered in paint and drawings, I customised my school bag with acrylic paintings, I made toys waaaaaay back in my mid teens, I wrote poetry, stories and song lyrics. I just really enjoy creating things. Almost everything I just listed was either destroyed by people or thrown out because it 'wasn't normal'. I even recall a certain family holiday, back when I was 14/15, where everyone joined in calling me 'freak' over and over whilst in a queue for a ride at Alton Towers. In hindsight that should have fucked me up a lot more than it did. As soon as I was off that ride I just walked...the fuck...away!
I was hurt, of course I was, I didn't have the mental fortitude or emotional understanding that I do now, but I knew walking away from that sort of behaviour was the RIGHT thing to do. That is NOT how you treat a loved one.
The thing is I was expecting those responsible for this sort of shit to take the responsibility. In moments of confrontation all the blame was placed solely at my feet. I can only seem to view this through my current lens, I can't seem to recall the true emotions I felt at the time now I've understood the situation better. I understand that responsibility is a hugely difficult thing to take on, it's stressful and most people will avoid it at all costs. They then relieve themselves of any wrongdoing by putting the blame on you, its cowardice. Thats why I claim that if you're going through the struggle you are a fucking warrior because you are staring the enemy down and doing your best to fight it. It takes time and practise to beat it, but it I suppose completely beatable.
Those that try to bully or belittle the already downtrodden are nothing but the worst kind of cad, the ONLY voices you need to listen to are those that offer to lift you up, it's perfectly reasonable to have enough of toxic people to turn away from them and say 'fuuuuuck that', let them deal with their own issues or fall victim to their own demons. We are not them, they want us to kill ourselves, to not be around anymore and they think it will make them happier for it, but they won't be. They'll find someone else to pick on and it will be your responsibility to pass on this message to them too.
Lets stop pandering to these goddamn psychopaths by thinking we are responsible for their shitty behaviour. We are not, no matter how much they try to blame us, however reasonable they're justification is to them, it's not acceptable. Those that claim they love us must offer their compassion and empathy above all else, the desire to understand one another's pain in the hopes to understand how to best alleviate that suffering should be made paramount.